I Should've Been There
by Amethyst4
Summary: Yuki stands accused of something horrible, putting Shuichi between his lover and his best friend. HiroxAyaka. All the standard disclaimers apply.


"Did the flowers get there okay?"  
  
"Yeah, I got them today. They're beautiful."  
  
"What about the necklace? If you don't like it, it's okay, really. I'm not very good at picking stuff like that out."  
  
"Hiro, it's beautiful. I'm wearing it now, and I'm never taking it off."  
  
"Yeah?"  
  
"Yeah."  
  
"What about when we-"  
  
"Hiro!"  
  
Even with a thousand miles between them, Ayaka could still feel Hiro's smile. She leaned her head back against the couch, curling and uncurling the phone cord around a slender finger. She was content just to listen to his breathing on the other end, letting it comfort her.  
  
"Ayaka, this blows. I should be there, with you. Listen, I'm gonna catch the next flight out of here. I can be there before midnight, it'll still officially be your birthday."  
  
"Hiro, we go through this every time. This tour is important to Bad Luck. And it's important to you. Besides...we'll have a whole month together when we get married."  
  
Her voice grew softer at the words. Ayaka closed her eyes, a hand tenderly caressing the receiver and wishing for all the world it was his face.  
  
"A whole month with no one but you. Wearing nothing but that necklace."  
  
"Hiro!!"  
  
This time she herself was forced to smile, in spite of the fact that her heart was breaking. She knew Hiro's heart was breaking as well. Somehow, it made it more bearable.  
  
"I miss you."  
  
"I miss you too."  
  
"Shit. I gotta go, it'll be time for us to take the stage soon. I love you."  
  
Ayaka always choked up at the same place, when he said those three words. After the end of her "relationship" with Yuki Eiri, she thought she'd never love again. Now she knew differently. She'd never loved her former fiance, not like this.   
  
God, what she wouldn't give to have Hiro there with her.  
  
"I love you too."  
  
All her strength left her body with a single exhale once he hung up the phone. Talking to him always left her giddy, and physically weak. He'd only been gone for six weeks, but it might as well have been six years. She took a deep breath, forced to remind herself of her own words to him. When the tour was over, before Bad Luck had to go back into the studio, she and Hiro would be married. She'd be able to hold him, to touch him and taste him. It left her with a longing akin to agony, an ache that could only be described in the pages of one of Yuki's romance novels.  
  
She reached quickly into her box of tissues, knowing the tears would soon flow. Empty. She must've forgotten to replace it after his call the night before. The tears wouldn't stop for lack of Kleenex, but she wouldn't stop them if she could. Crying always made her feel better.  
  
And so did Hagan Daaz. Maybe a walk to the store a few blocks away. She could stock up on tissues there while she was at it.  
  
She hadn't realized how late it was. Even though the apartment she and Hiro now shared was in a busier part of town, it was eerily silent at this hour. She found herself walking faster, and grateful that she'd brought along a sweater to protect her from the chill night air. It still wasn't as warm as Hiro's arm around her shoulder, but she still pretended. And if she tried hard enough, she could even imagine Hiro's footsteps beside her.  
  
Footsteps? Ayaka blinked, realizing that she could hear footsteps. They weren't in her mind either. They were real, a few feet behind her. Her heart raced just a bit faster, as she cast a cautious glance over her shoulder. The street lighting wasn't very good though, and she could just barely make out the outline of a person.  
  
_Well, I'm out walking...there's no real reason someone else shouldn't be as well. Besides...there's only one 24 hour store in this part of town. They're just going there. We're just going in the same direction.  
  
_Ayaka swallowed down the lump in her throat, as well as her explanation. She was just being paranoid. This was a safe part of town, and she could see the lights of the convenience store coming into view. With a sigh, she reached up to touch the pendant around her neck.  
  
A golden heart, with a diamond in its center. It must've cost Hiro a pretty penny. But the band was doing well, CD sales were beyond expectation. Still, he could've gotten it from a gumball machine and she would have been just as happy. As long as it was from him. She moved her fingers away from the heart, gingerly touching the fragile chain it was suspended from. The temperature around her suddenly seemed to drop, and an unexplained chill ran down her spine.  
  
Then she realized why. Her breath caught in her throat as she heard it again. A soft, but very deliberate whistle coming from behind her. And it was closer the second time.  
  
Paranoia be damned. Ayake's hand dropped away from the chain as she broke into a run, her panic only increasing when the person behind her sped up as well. Not just running, but _chasing_, like some wild animal on the heels of its prey.  
  
She screamed out when the hand fell on her shoulder, tightening its grip like talons. Again she cried, only half the plea escaping her lips before a second, equally strong hand clamped itself over her mouth. She struggled wildly, finding herself being pulled back into that figure, afraid that she might be absorbed into the very darkness herself. She was flung to the ground, a sloping grass embankment on the side of the sidewalk. Instantly, she was trying to get up and away, but the figure was already over her, tearing at her clothes.  
  
Even with a hand over her mouth, Ayaka was screaming in her mind. This wasn't happening. Things like this only happened in the movies, not to a fiance of a pop star, and especially not on her birthday.  
  
"Ah! Bitch!"  
  
A slap fell sharply across her cheek. She realized she could taste blood, but it wasn't her own. She must've bitten the guy's palm, resulting in the backhand to the face. Instead of subduing her though, it only made her struggle again. She wouldn't take this docile. She would fight in every way she could, for as long as she could. Hiroshi would want her to do that.  
  
Those strong hands from before closed around her throat, as her assailant began to curse her under his breath. His grip tightened, and Ayaka was certain she'd feel her windpipe collapse at any moment. She closed her eyes tightly, gasping for whatever scraps of air she could get. He began to shake her while choking, and it was only when she felt something graze across her forehead that the darkness fully claimed her.  
  
The guy was panting. She was much stronger than she looked, but then they always were when they were scared. He waited for a moment, finally relaxing only when he was sure she was out of it. He reached down, ripping at her skirt while the other hand went to his zipper.  
  
It never made it though. This time, he was the one with the hand on his shoulder. And it was lifting him away from her.  
  
"What the-"  
  
He felt the bones in his jaw shatter as the punch connected. A second one to the mouth busted his lips, along with part of a front tooth. Only then was he turned to face his assailant, his predator.  
  
The man couldn't be Japanese...not with hair that golden. Not with eyes those golden. They were so cold, so calm...how could they be that calm?  
  
Yuki tossed the man to the ground, delivering a swift kick to the man's ribs. The attacker grunted in pain, doing his best to roll away. A second kick to the temple literally sent him flying, and he scrambled to get to his feet while he was still conscious. He had to get away, he had to escape. Those golden eyes...those were the eyes of a killer.  
  
Yuki watched him stumble away before stepping back towards Ayaka. He knelt down beside her crumpled form, placing two fingers against her neck. A pulse...she was alive. He slid his arms beneath her, holding her against him as he stood up. When he turned, he found himself staring blindly into the beam of a flashlight.  
  
"Police! Hold it right there!"  
  


********************  
  


Shuichi was mindless to the people's stares as he raced through the police station. His mind was reeling, doing its best to wrap around what he'd been told. Yuki had attacked Ayaka. Yuki had hurt her. It just wasn't possible. He came to a sudden halt in front of the police chief's desk, his words spilling forth in a jumbled mess.  
  
"Hold on, I can't understand what the hell you're saying!" The police chief was a big man, but he didn't have an unkind face. Shuichi tried again, only slightly more coherent the second time. "Oh, I get it. I know why you're here. My daughter listens to your music, and reads his books. Come on, I'm only giving you fifteen minutes though."  
  
He took a ring of keys from the wall behind him, standing to lead Shuichi back into the cellblock. He stopped in front of Yuki's, not bothering to glance to the man inside as he slid the key in the lock.  
  
"Hey golden boy, someone here to see you."  
  
The door made an irritating sound as it slid open, like someone scraping their teeth over fork prongs, but a hundred times worse. Shuichi slid through before it was halfway open, racing towards the solitary figure sitting on the bunk. He fell to his knees, instantly sliding his head into Yuki's lap.  
  
"Yuki...Yuki..."  
  
He choked back a sob as a hand hesitantly stroked his hair. Finally, he was able to look up to him, lavender eyes still shimmering with tears.  
  
"Don't worry. I've come to get you out of here."  
  
Yuki didn't respond, only looked down into Shuichi's face. There was no expression there. But then, then rarely was. Yuki could hide his emotions like no other.  
  
"Ayaka."  
  
"She...she's all right. Just some scrapes and bruises."  
  
Yuki nodded, averting his eyes towards a dark corner. Shuichi took a deep breath, gripping his legs to pull him up onto the bunk beside him.  
  
"Don't you have a tour to finish?"  
  
Even Shuichi, who knew the blond haired man better than anyone, was caught off guard by the question. He blinked, shaking his head mutely for a moment before finding his voice. When he did speak, it was shaky at best.  
  
"What...what are you talking about? Forget the tour, Yuki, I had to come save you! And Hiro..."  
  
He trailed off. Hiro...Shuichi gasped sharply, the severity of the situation sinking into him. His lover stood accused of attacking his best friend's fiance.  
  
That sound again, that horrible metallic scraping sound. Shuichi lifted his hands to his ears, trying to block it out. Shuichi's eyes raised to a second figure stepping into Yuki's cell, and he leapt instantly to his feet.  
  
"Hiro!"  
  
He stood stoically, hands clenched into tight fists at his sides. There was something in Hiro's eyes...something Shuichi had never seen before, and didn't want to see now. Especially not aimed at Yuki.  
  
"You sadistic bastard!"  
  
"Hiro!" Shuichi cried his friend and bandmate's name again, trying to get between the two bigger men. He tried to hold Hiro back. They scuffled, until finally two policemen entered the cell and pulled Hiro back.  
  
"I didn't do it."  
  
Shuichi blinked, turning towards Yuki. At least one of Hiro's punches had found its target. Yuki reached up, wiping a dribble of blood from the corner of his lip.  
  
"I didn't hurt Ayaka."  
  
Shuichi exhaled suddenly, collapsing onto his knees when Yuki repeated it. Of course, he hadn't doubted Yuki's innocence, but until now, he hadn't professed it. And Shuichi knew his own weakness. He would believe anything Yuki ever said. Hiro seemed less convinced.  
  
"You couldn't stand it, could you? Even if you never loved her, you couldn't stand the thought that she loves me now! You only know how to hurt people, but I swear before God, Yuki Eiri, you will pay for this. I won't let you get away with hurting her!"  
  
Hiro began to struggle again, almost freeing himself from the grasp of the two policemen. They began stepping backwards, pulling him from the cell before locking the other two inside again.  
  
Shuichi stared in dumbfounded silent at the space where Hiro had been standing. The helplessness was really descending on him now, leaving him on the constant verge of tears.  
  
"Yuki...Hiro was just really upset. I'm sure when he calms down..."  
  
"Don't make excuses for him!" The harshness of Yuki's tone caused the pink haired boy to cringe. But it was quickly compensated by the softness of his next words. "The one he loves has been hurt. He has every right to be angry."  
  


********************  
  


"Sir, visiting hours are almost over."  
  
"I'm not leaving."  
  
"I'm sorry sir, it's hospital policy. I'm afraid you don't have a-"  
  
"I said I'm not leaving!"  
  
Hiro's voice...from the depths of unawareness, she could hear his voice. It was like the sun to her, and she longed to run towards it, be enveloped by it. She took the first and hardest step towards consciousness just to be with it, rising like a diver from the depths of the murky sea.  
  
"H..Hiro..."  
  
"I'm here...everything's okay now, just relax." He held onto her hand, stroking the back of it gently before lifting it to his lips. "How do you feel?"  
  
"What...happened?" Ayaka tried to sit up slowly, but a sharp pain in her head sent her retreating back against the hospital cot.  
  
"Ayaka! Lie still, you have a couple of stitches in your head." Hiro's free hand slid up into her hair, sliding along its silken surface. "You might have to stay here a day or two longer, but you're gonna be fine."  
  
Ayaka began to shake her head gently. She was in a hospital but...why? The question was like the unlocking of flood gates, the memory of her attack coming at her as fresh and painful as when it was happening. A sob caught in her throat, finally freeing itself as cold tears ran down her face.  
  
"Ayaka, no, baby it's okay. The police caught him, you weren't..." A knot formed suddenly in his throat. Even though it hadn't happened, he still couldn't bring himself to say the word. Just the thought of someone touching her with that intention...it was unbearable. "They got the bastard. And you're gonna be as good as new in a couple of days."  
  
"Hiro...I'm so glad you're here." She opened her eyes, smiling softly as she reached out to touch his face. A few strands of his crimson hair slid between her fingers.  
  
"Anou...should we come back later?"  
  
Hiro had been so absorbed in Ayaka, he hadn't even heard anyone enter. Only Shuichi's voice brought him from the world consisting of just the two of them. And something else.  
  
_We?  
  
_Hiro spun to face the door, looking past Shuichi to the man behind him. Yuki locked eyes with him, his hands sliding into the pockets of his dark pants.  
  
"You've got some nerve...who the hell do you think you are?!"  
  
Shuichi stepped forward quickly, placing his hands on Hiro's shoulders in an attempt to calm him.  
  
"Hiro! Yuki didn't do it! They caught the real guy, he admitted to hurting Ayaka and a lot of other girls. Yuki was telling the truth, he's innocent!"  
  
Ayaka ignored her pain to sit up a little, blinking in confusion at the three of them. She tilted her head, the pieces flying together when she looked back to Hiro's enraged face.  
  
"Wait...they accused Yuki of attacking me? But...why?"  
  
"He had your blood on him, that's why." Hiro's voice was razor wire tight, trying to control the dark emotions bubbling up within him. Yuki's own lack of response, lack of expression, only fueled it on more.   
  
Finally, Yuki stepped forward, through the intensity that hung in the room. He stepped past Hiro, not bothering to even glance in his direction while continuing to the side of Ayaka's bed.  
  
"How do you feel?"  
  
"I...I'm okay." The confusion was still evident in her voice, questioning eyes locked with Yuki's own. "Is it true...what Hiro just said?"  
  
Yuki snorted, closing his own eyes to sever the link between them. "You'd hit your head on a rock. When I picked you up, you were bleeding."  
  
Ayaka blinked, understanding more and more of the picture. "Then...you're the one...you saved me...Yuki, thank you!" She gasped, lunging forward to lock her arms around him. Even with his back to them, Hiro's body stiffened. Shuichi's eyes, wide and uneasy, shifted from one scene to the other, until Hiro finally pushed him away.  
  
"Hiro? Hiro, where are you going? Hiro!!"  
  
Ayaka's pleas were the last thing he heard as he strode from the room.  
  


********************  
  


"Another."  
  
"Look buddy, that's pretty powerful stuff. Don't you think you've had enough?"  
  
"I said gimme another!!" Hiro lunged over the bar, grabbing the bar tender by the collar and pulling him closer. The man was instantly frightened. Hiro's grip was powerful, and he was already drunk past all reasoning.  
  
"Y..yeah, okay, just calm down." The bottle in his hand shook a bit as he refilled Hiro's glass. He settled down on the stool again, wrapping his hands around the glass and staring into the liquid.  
  
_"Then...you're the one...you saved me...Yuki, thank you!" _   
  
He squeezed his eyes shut tightly, trying to block out the sound of Ayaka's voice. The glass was lifted his lips, gulping down half of its contents in one swallow. It clouded his mind, but so far couldn't make him forget.  
  
"Excuse me, could I get a soda? Thanks."  
  
Hiro glanced to his side as someone settled on the stool beside him. Pink hair. Only one person it could be.  
  
"What are you doin' here. Shouldn't you be home with him?" Hiro's words were slurred, a humorless smirk on his lips as he lifted the glass yet again. "Or is taking a turn with Ayaka now?"  
  
"Hiro, that's enough." Shuichi's words were dead serious. Hiro cocked a brow, glancing over to him as the glass hung suspended on its way down to the bar top. "Why are you acting this way? You know Yuki didn't do it."  
  
"I din' know no such thing..." Hiro scowled, wobbling a bit as he turned to look at Shuichi more directly. And then it hit him...he did know, now. Yuki didn't attack her. So why was he still so damned angry at him? "Ah shit. Bartender..."  
  
Shuichi reached over, placing his hand over the top of Hiro's empty glass. "You've had enough to drink. Now it's time to talk. You don't have to talk to Yuki, and you don't even have to talk to Ayaka...even though I think you should. But we've been friends for too long Hiro. Talk to me. We owe each other that much."  
  
Hiro blinked at him for a long moment, wordless. Finally, he was forced to hang his head in defeat.  
  
"Yuki shouldn't have saved her. It shoulda been me. I should've been there with her Shu, I should have..." He trailed off, taking a deep breath to fuel him on. He lifted his head, his voice a near whisper as he continued. "Every time I close my eyes, I see it, ya know? It shouldn't have happened. I should have been there to keep it from happening. If I loved her enough, I would have been."  
  
Shuichi blinked, smiling softly, in spite of all, at the tenderness of his friend's words. "Hiro, is that what's bothering you? You feel guilty for not being there?" He shook his head, placing a comforting hand on his friend's shoulder. "It wasn't Ayaka's fault, it wasn't Yuki's fault. And Hiro, it isn't your fault either. I don't know why these things happen, they just do sometimes." He closed his eyes, remembering the pain of his own experience in that area, the night he was attacked, beaten and raped. "But...I think instead of being angry, you should be grateful. Ayaka's safe, and she loves you more than anything. She's not angry with you, it would never even cross her mind. So why are you angry with yourself? Hiro...you have to let go of this, she needs you, the real you, and not what this guilt is turning you into."  
  
There was a long silence between them when Shuichi finished speaking. He looked forward again, watching the bubbles rise up through his untouched soda. The bartender, obviously hesitant, approached them from the other side of the bar.  
  
"We'll be closing soon...so this is last call, if you want another."  
  
Hiro appeared to be in thought, but raised his head to look at the tender as he spoke. Finally, he gave his answer, shaking his head back in forth.  
  
"Nah. I gotta get going to the hospital. There's someone there that needs me."   
  
He slid from the stool, placing his hand on Shuichi's shoulder as he walked past him. Shuichi watched him, a soft smile on his face that remained long after he'd went out the door. That is, until the bartender approached him again.  
  
"Hey you, I hope for your sake you've got a lot of money on you. Your friend there didn't pay for his drinks."  
  


********************  
  
You are cordially invited  
to witness the exchange of vows between  
Nakano Hiroshi and Usami Ayaka  
this Saturday at 5:30 p.m.  
  
The ceremony will be presided over by  
Uesugi Tatsuha  
  
The ceremony will begin with the reading of a love sonnet  
written especially for the couple by Eiri Yuki.  
  
Music will include:  
A duet by best man Shindou Shuichi and Sakuma Ryuichi  
and an acoustic solo by the groom to his bride entitled "The Muse."  
  
Hope to see you there!  
  
  


Shuichi's mouth was agape in bliss. He let his head lull to the side, coming to a rest against Yuki's shoulder.  
  
"Wah...wasn't the ceremony beautiful Yu~ki?"  
  
A single nod for a response.  
  
"Wasn't Ayaka's dress beauti~ful?"  
  
Another nod. And a grumble.  
  
"Didn't they look so happy together?"  
  
Another nod. And a grumble. And a twitch.  
  
"Doesn't it make you want to-Yuki?" Shuichi blinked, finding his shoulder-pillow suddenly taken from him. He lifted his head, glancing around quickly for his golden haired lover. "Yuki, where are you? YUKI!" He was literally a ball of energy, bouncing around the hall until he found him. It was inevitable. He always did. He smiled, rubbing his head against Yuki's arm, like a lost puppy who just found his master. "There you are."  
  
Yuki sighed, closed his eyes, and took out another cigarette.  
  
"Ne, where did they go anyway?"  
  
"Idiot. They already left." Yuki reached into the pocket inside his jacket, taking out his lighter.  
  
"Already?! But the party is just getting started! Sakuma-san and I are going to sing karaoke and everything!"   
  
"Moron." Yuki sighed heavily, the festivities of the day...taking their toll on him. He placed his hand on his temple, trying to massage away the throbbing pain forming there. "It's their honeymoon."  
  


************************************  
  


Ayaka's giggles from inside the bathroom were driving him wild. What was she up to? How much longer was she going to be? Hiro whined, pressing his back against the headboard of the bed and forcing himself to be patient. Finally, her voice called out to him, as seductive as a siren, as sweet as an angel.  
  
"Hiro...are you ready?"  
  
"Like you wouldn't believe." His response got another giggle from her, the bathroom door opening slowly. It was the only light still on in their suite, illuminating her form from behind.  
  
His wife. Wearing only the necklace.  
  
He began crawling down the bed, intent on claiming her, but she moved swiftly towards him. She cradled his face between her hands, coaxing him to his knees so that their lips could meet. His arms slid around her waist, pulling her down onto the bed with him.  
  
"Ayaka...." This feeling inside him, it made him breathless. He smiled a bit, a teasing glimmer to his eyes as he tilted his head up at her. "Where'd you ditch the dress?"  
  
"Oh, I let Shuichi borrow it. He wanted to try it on and show Yuki."  
  
The mental image that created sent them both into a fit of short lived giggles.  
  
"I love you."  
  
This time, those three words didn't cause her to choke up. Because there was no distance between them. Hiro was there, with her. And he always would be.  
  
  



End file.
